It is said that marriages are made in heaven and it is believed that we end up marrying the person we are destined to marry. However, it is up to us whether we choose a partner for ourselves or leave it to our parents. Nowadays, the most controversial topic regarding marriage is whether one should go for a love marriage or for an arranged set up. It is actually quite funny to discuss because it is like asking someone if suicide is better or being murdered. However, jokes apart, marriage being a beautiful phase of life it is better to go for it than regret later for not even tasting the bitter-sweet fruit called marriage.
Now the question lies that with the growing craze of love marriage whether one should go for an arranged marriage or not. So, let me tell you that the good old arranged marriage set up has its own set of merits which can neither be denied nor ignored. So, here is a list of certain reasons why an arranged marriage is actually a sensible decision. They are:-
Practical decision- Arranged Marriage is Actually a Sensible Decision
The first and foremost reason why an arranged marriage is actually a sensible decision is the simple fact that it is the lot more practical than a love marriage. In an arranged set up, you tend to weigh the pros and cons regarding the proposal and then make a cold blooded decision that whether the prospective match suits your requirements or not. Unlike an arranged marriage, in the case of a love marriage, the person is love stricken hence ignoring all the negatives of his/her partner. All they could see before marriage is a rosy picture of a life together with their loved one. But it becomes quite difficult to cope up later when after marriage the reality sets in. Many times, people who go for love marriage complain about their partner going a drastic personality change post marriage. This is because now the love takes a backseat and the hardcore reality of life creeps in. This generally is not a case in an arranged marriage because it is a decision made far more sensibly and practically thinking about it deeply before going for it.
No hormonal rush- Arranged Marriage is Actually a Sensible Decision
Another reason why an arranged marriage is actually a sensible decision is that in a love marriage a couple is guided by the hormonal rush. They are in love from head to toe and tend to overlook the discrepancies of their relationship. Later, they end up fighting with each other and it may also lead to a divorce. But in an arranged marriage the couple ties the knot with a view of trying to make the relationship work by working upon the follies. The hormones settle down and the couple acts in a more matured manner making the possibilities of breaking up the relationship very less. So, this also reinforces the fact that it is actually quite sensible to go for an arranged marriage.
A well-secured future-
A major plus point of ending up in an arranged marriage is that you can almost be assured of a well-secured future. An arranged marriage is a calculative move where the pros and cons of marrying a person keeping in mind the future are always estimated. The involvement of elders to gives you an assurance that you are going for the right thing. Financial security and family background are crosschecked by the families a number of times before coming to a decision thereby making it beneficial for both the parties involved. Such security is not always present in case of a love marriage because such hardcore realities do not strike a person in the initial stages of a relationship. Only when you plan to take your relationship forward and decide to get married is the time when issues like future security pop out. So, again an arranged marriage would surely be a sensible decision keeping in mind a person’s secured future.
The family is happy- Arranged Marriage is Actually a Sensible Decision
Trust me, nothing will ever give you more happiness than seeing your parents happy. Well, an arranged marriage along with other benefits offers this one too. You can be sure of the fact that your parents and family members are happy about you getting married and you would definitely save yourself from some extra emotional drama which is quite common in a love marriage. Convincing parents for your choice is not an easy task at all. It sometimes involves a lot of stress and may even lead to other unpleasant extremities. However, if you go by an arranged set up you at least don’t have to worry about your family’s consent for marrying a person. Though love marriages are not always a case of messed up family drama if they become one than the outcome is not very pleasant. So, an arranged marriage would actually be a sensible decision as if you go for it you can definitely avoid some family melodrama and focus on other important issues related to marriage. Moreover, your entire family would be a part of your big day to make it extra special for you.
Gives way to a lifetime friendship-
Someone has rightly said that “it is not a lack of love, but the lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” It is actually quite true because love may fade away but friendship stays. So, it is really important that you form a strong bond of friendship in a marriage. An arranged marriage gives a good platform for a lifetime friendship bond as the couple starts with being friends in their early marriage days only before taking their relationship forward. It gives them a good chance to know each other in a better manner and gets acquainted with each other’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, and lifestyle. Slowly and gradually, this bond of friendship gives way to a deeper connection called love. Thus an arranged marriage offers a lifetime friend to you in the form of your life partner thereby making arranged marriage an even more sensible decision for you.
Getting to know a person is exciting-
Another very special and important advantage of arranged marriage justifying why an arranged marriage is actually a sensible decision is that the excitement of getting to know your partner is present in it making your initial few months of marriage extra special. It is like getting married and then falling in love. Though a reversed process, exciting at the same time. Each day you get to know something new about your partner which helps in building up a mutual attraction between you two. The novelty does not wear off anytime soon in an arranged marriage which is a common issue faced in a love marriage. In a love marriage, life after marriage mostly seems monotonous as you are already used to being with your partner and it offers no new excitement. Thus, living the excitement of knowing your partner in every possible manner is a bonus of an arranged marriage set up which you can enjoy after marriage.
Fewer expectations lesser complications-
This is definitely an important reason as to why an arranged marriage is actually a sensible decision. In an arranged marriage both the partners are new to each other. This makes them keep minimum expectations with each other. They do not have a list of preset expectations with each other and they slowly work upon making their relationship grow stronger. Fewer expectations, in turn, reduce the complications in their marriage and help them have a happy and healthy marriage based on mutual understanding. However, in a love marriage, we are always preoccupied with an already decided list of what we expect out of our partner or marriage failing which we tend to suffer from emotional and mental stress. This increases the complications in marriage and may sometimes lead to some serious problems too. Thus, the decision of going for an arranged marriage again turns out to be more sensible than love marriage.
Finding the similarities, respecting the differences-
A marriage is all about trust, respect, and understanding. If any of these are absent then it reduces the chances of the survival of marriage. An arranged marriage is based upon the fact that a couple tries to find out the similarities and respect the differences. They try to figure out what would work for them and what not keeping an open mind and respecting each other’s choices. Whereas in a love marriage the differences may give way to quarrels due to the simple fact that both the partners remain adamant to what they feel is right and as they know each other’s weaknesses beforehand due to which they sometimes stop making efforts to make their marriage work. In an arranged marriage both the partners make extra efforts to have a smooth marriage and this, in turn, helps them in achieving a happy married life thereby making it a very sensible decision.
Yet another plus point of an arranged marriage is that every day comes off as a surprise in the first few years of marriage. This, in turn, gives way to quite an adventurous life where you have to figure out each other. In an arranged marriage everything that you figure out about your partner would be new to you and would be like going on an adventure for gaining new experiences. On the other hand love marriages after some time may turn into a boring monotonous routine with nothing new to look forward. Hence, arranged marriages not only come across as sensible but highly adventurous too.
The common goal is to make the relationship work by adapting to the changes-
Couples in both love and arranged marriage needs to have a common goal of making the relationship work. In a love marriage, the couple sometimes denies to adjust and expect their partners to be like the way they were before marriage. However, marriage comes with a set of responsibilities and roles of a husband and wife are a bit different from that of a boyfriend and girlfriend which a couple fails to understand sometimes in case of a love marriage. Whereas in an arranged marriage the couple is more adaptable to changes as they are mentally prepared for them and they have a common goal of making their marriage work. So, this is also a fact that shows why an arranged marriage is actually a sensible decision in today’s world.
Thus, love or arranged a marriage is always a work in progress which requires a lot of time effort and energy. Though both have their own advantages and disadvantages, I am sure, after going through the above points you would definitely be less biased and would be more open for arranged marriages than you were ever before.Tags: Arranged Marriage is Actually a Sensible Decision