Remember the time when you experienced your very first heart break?
I’m sure you do!
Possibly, you were crying all by yourself late at night so that your parents don’t hear you. While going to bed, you were wishing to just go to sleep in an instant but those killer emotions were taking over you and making you wonder how could this happen to you or where did it all go wrong? You didn’t even know what was taking over you or what was happening to your body ? You felt nauseated and sick , you probably didn’t feel like eating anything, even the slightest memory of your past relationship made you feel sad and depressed!
Breaking up with someone you love is always hard.
You must be asking yourself, how do I know about all these feelings!
Well, obviously because no one is spared from the heartbreak and feelings that take over after a hard breakup. I just know how to describe what exactly was going in my mind and how my body was reacting to it. There are stages you go through while breaking up with someone you love and there are different ways people mourn depending on how strong they are physically or mentally.
I will explain the stages of grief that will make it easier for you to understand your feelings and intense emotions that might be going through after breaking up with someone you love a lot.
“Breakup? What are you saying?”
That’s exactly how you react when they first tell you they wanna end it. It’s like going in a complete state of shock!
You cant accept that it is getting over as you already made plans to spend your entire life with your loved one. You had planned your dream wedding destination, your wedding dress or the number of kids you gonna have. You initially feel it’s just a matter of time and you will be back again!
Perhaps, you consider it as a joke played by your ex and try to persuade them to stay. It is extremely important at this stage to keep yourself composed and listen to what your soon-to-be EX PARTNER has to say about why he or she wants to end it with you!
However, since you never even imagined breaking up with someone you love so you go in a state of denial instead of accepting the heartbreak.
The most dangerous stage of breakup is anger. At this stage you don’t want to listen to anyone, any-one!
You want to focus all your attention towards your ex, you constantly question yourself how he or she could do this to you, when all you ever did was loving them with all your heart. You blame them for ending everything so abruptly that you don’t try to understand the facts or reasons which made them do this. After this, you blame yourself for being stupid and not giving them more of your attention when they were with you.
But you know what?
When someone has makes up their mind to get away from you, your anger makes them go even more far apart. If you still want to stay friends with your ex, you have to be nice to them, accepting the fact that you are breaking up with someone you love and once they were a part of your life, not anymore though.
In this stage you try to amend your relationship. You try to make all the promises that you couldn’t keep in the first place. You tell them that you will change and will be the best partner ever. You tell them that whatever happened won’t happen again. But all these promises can’t help you to keep the partner that has made up the mind!
All you can do is to let them go off your mind after breaking up.
In their mind they might have already planned things they want to do in future. At this stage it is extremely important to be cautious before saying things that you might regret for the rest of your life. As in the future, you might feel how pitiful you must have looked to your partner for crying and begging them to stay with you.
This is the worst stage of any breakup!
You feel sick in your stomach, you don’t wanna eat anything and if you do, you want to puke it out straight away. This is exactly how a heartbreak feels like. It’s a sad feeling in your gut that doesn’t let you concentrate on any other thing. You think a lot about your past and end up feeling mentally exhausted and fucked up. You feel sad that any of your effort didn’t work out to convince your ex to stay. You cry, sob, start drinking or smoking to forget your ex. It is important not to let the help of any substance become your addiction at this point, because in the end nobody is more important than your own health.
Well, let’s come to the last and really important part of the entire breakup cycle.
You finally accept the fact that now you two have broken up and you wanna move on with your life. You start to plan what are you supposed to do with your life from now on without the need of your ex. From acceptance, I will add from my own experience, comes empowerment. You feel positive and fresh!
You want to live with new confidence. You develop a new outlook on life. You have conquered the fear of being left alone and you get a feeling from inside that you can do whatever you want from now on as you are not dependent on someones’s company to complete you. It becomes easier to conclude when you feel complete in your own self and try to understand the differing needs and feelings of your ex. You can then walk away from your relationship with utmost dignity.
Always remember that life is full of so many new things and love can be found at most uncertain times.break up, break up pain, break up ways, breaking up with someone you love